


Little Star

by BadSleepingHabits



Series: Strik Skaifaya - Little Star [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Clarke Griffin & Anya are Family, Clarke and Roan Will Be Bros, Costia is Friends With Everyone, F/F, Flamekeeper Clarke, Grounder Clarke Griffin, Kidnapping, Mention of the Sky People, Mother Anya, Nightmares, Non-Explicit Sex, Sharing a Bed, Titus Isn't Always an Asshole, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-19
Updated: 2017-06-06
Packaged: 2018-11-02 12:24:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10944456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BadSleepingHabits/pseuds/BadSleepingHabits
Summary: When Clarke's eight, she fall on the ground and is adopted by a warrior. Will she learn how to survive, or will the Earth win?





	1. It's Not A Shooting Star

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, everyone. So, since a few of you were interested in this story, here is the first of four-five chapters that will show life on earth before the 100 arrival.  
> Remember English is not my first language.  
> Also, /// is for change of pov and *** for change of scene.  
> Hope you enjoy!

   _October_

 

   "Clarke, wake up."

   "Come on, honey, you need to get up."

   "Why?"

   The smiling faces of her parents were looking down at her with love. Her father smiled wider and presented her a pink, simply decorated, cupcake with a little candle on top of it.

   "Happy eighth birthday, kiddo."

 

   _Three days later_

 

   "But why can't I go to the store? There are _so many_ things there, I need them so I can draw."

   "Because that section is unstable, honey. They will have to repair it." her mom said.

   "And then I can go?"

   Abby smiled at her little artist, gently stroking her blonde hair. "And then you can go."

 

   _A week later_

 

   She wasn't supposed to be awake yet, but the voices in the background were just so annoying. She turned in her little blanket nest and tried to fall asleep again. That was, until she heard Jake's voice talking to her mother.

   "The air system in that section just can't be repaired, they will unlock it and let it drop to the ground."

   "Are they sure about it? It could damage the nearest sections too."

   "If they leave it there, that's certain. Dropping it at least give us a chance."

   "And the things inside of it?"

   "No one is to enter, they will leave the supplies there. I know it's a waste, but it has to be done."

   After that, Clarke couldn't focus on anything that wasn't how to get her art supplies. She guessed a little sneak peek wouldn't hurt anyone, right?

 

   _Five days later_

 

   Alright, she was inside. The guard that was patrolling went to check on some noise and didn't see her, so now she just had to get some pencils, charcoal, sheets and maybe some paint and brushes as well. Depends. She was only height, after all. It's not like she really had a plan.

   She got in the little metallic room with all the supplies and started to look for what she needed. Rummaging into a pile of boxes she didn't hear the first siren that informed the beginning of the launch drill.

   She was just screeching at some oil paint tubes she just found, when everything began to tremble.

 

   ///

 

   "Hey, what's that?"

   "What's what?" The general turned to the direction her second was pointing at, up in the night sky.

   "It looks like a shooting star. But..."

   Anya narrowed her eyes, both confused and curious about that strange shooting star. And then it hit her. "It's not a star."

   "Then what is it? A new weapon of the mountain?"

   "I don't know. But either way, we need to get to it first."

 

***

 

   It was almost dawn when they arrived to the thing. It was metallic and huge, but obviously something was wrong with it. It looked like it had crushed on earth, like it had fallen from a high place.

   "Do you think it was meant to land in one of our villages? Maybe something went wrong and it crushed here." Said one of the scouts that were surveying the thing.

   Anya shook her head. "It doesn't belong to the maunon. I saw that thing falling from the sky, at first I thought it was a shooting star but it looked different."

   She decided to get it out of the way and got closer to the thing. Metallic wreckage were laying everywhere in a several miles rage, and various spirals of grey smoke interrupted the smooth line of the landscape. When she got close enough, she heard some movement inside the thing. She unsheathed her sword and warned the scout, who readied his bow.

   What Anya found inside that metallic box, however, wasn't something she could have been prepared for.

 

   _Two days later_

 

   "She isn't dangerous, she's barely able to tell us what happened to her. She is not a threat."

   "Then what do you suggest we do?"

   "I say, we keep her."

   "Anya. She is not a pet you can keep, that's a child. Someone would have to adopt her. Take care of her."

   "I'm aware. I'll do it. She is already in my hut, and she trusts me."

   "Are you sure?"

   "Yes. She can't be worse than Lexa."

 

***

 

   "So, Little Star. What do you think, would you want to stay here, with me?"

   The child, still sore and injured but overall pretty fine, looked at her with big hopeful eyes. Anya didn't want to think about why those eyes made her heart cry in her chest.

   The little girl's bottom lip trembled, and she asked: "Forever?"

   "Sure." Anya smiled.

   "And you won't leave me, right?"

   "Never."

   "And you won't send me away?"

   "Do you trust me, Little Star?"

   Clarke nodded immediately, making Anya smile even more. "I won't send you away. I won't leave you. I will be your family, now, Clarke. And you will be mine."

 

   _Three weeks later_

 

   "Sloppy. Again."

   Clarke was sitting on a log near the training field, watching while Anya teached Lexa, her second, the bases of sword fighting. She was so mesmerized by Anya's moves, she wanted to be able to move like that one day.

   She still missed her parents on the Ark. She wondered if they knew where she was, if they were worried. Did they know she was in the store when they launched it? Did they try to get her out? Do they miss her now that she's not there anymore?

   She breathed in the sweet smell of the morning air, the comforting sound of the earth, and she sighed.

   _"Hey, there. Why so sad?"_ a girl around her age asked her, sitting next to her on the log.

   "Hem," Clarke looked down, slightly embarrassed. "I'm sorry. I didn't understand what you said."

   "Oh! Sorry. I did not know you do not speak _Trigedasleng_."

   "It's fine. Your accent is weird, but cute too. Where are you from?"

   The girl, who had bright brown eyes and long dark curly hair, tamed in a sort of ponytail, smiled widely at her.

   "I am from the Boat Clan. My dad is here for the trading, and me and my mum followed him. Maybe I will train as a healer one day."

   "Oh, that sounds cool. My mom is a doctor, you know. I think I would like to be one too. Or maybe an artist, but that's more like a hobby."

   Thinking about her mom made her sad again, and the other child noticed.

   She hugged her, and started whispering: "Hey. Maybe you could come train with me. Become a healer, like your _nomon_. Do you think she would like it?"

   Clarke nodded, a few tears escaped her eyes and the girl wiped them with the sleeve of her shirt.

   "Thank you. I'm Clarke."

   " _Pro_ , Clarke. And my name is Costia."

 

  ///

 

   Later that day when they were both inside her tent, Anya had offered to do Clarke's hair, and now she was sitting on her bed, legs crossed and the little girl sat on her lap while she tied her hair so that it wouldn't go in her eyes. They were in this comfortable silence, when Anya decided to break it.

   "I saw you and Costia talked a lot today. Did you become friends?"

   Clarke nodded, a sweet smile grazing her lips. "She's nice. I told her about my parents and the Ark, but she didn't make fun of me like some of the oder children."

   Anya hummed, pleased.

   "I'm glad to see that you're making friends. And Costia is a nice girl, and a good friend of Lexa, too."

   At the mention of Lexa, the child's smile faded away, replaced by a sad expression. Anya noticed the shift in her mood right away and poked her in the side - mindful to avoid the fading bruises from the accident - making her giggle.

   "Anya! Why?!"

   "You went all sad and pouting, I had to do something."

   She tickled her until she started crying and laughing at the same time. After a while, during which Anya continued her work on her Little Star's blonde hair, the woman brought it up again. After all, if her 'daughter' and her second were having problems with each other, she wanted to know.

   "Clarke, about Lexa. Do you not like her? Or maybe, did you two have a fight or something?"

   The child just shook her head but said nothing. Anya waited a second, then broke the silence again. "You know you can talk to me, right? I won't be mad, I promise."

   At that, Clarke sighed sadly. "I think she doesn't like me. When I tried to talk to her, she just answered my questions and then she stayed silent, and she wouldn't look me in the eyes."

   Ok, that was weird.

 

***

 

   The morning after Anya decided to take matters in her hands and discover what on earth was going on in her second's head. She appeared focused like always, if not more, but now she knew that something was wrong. Then, at some point during the morning, she noticed Lexa's eyes. They kept darting towards the log where Clarke usually sat. She took a look and saw Costia sitting next to her, talking and laughing. It appeared like she was helping Clarke learning Trigedasleng. Anya smiled and turned to look at Lexa. She didn't seem too happy, and Anya wondered why. She didn't stop studying the ten-years-old girl, noticing how her eyes wouldn't stop going back to the two girl sitting on the log. Now, she was totally sure that something was off with her second.

   As soon as their training session was enough near the end, she approached the girl and signaled her to put down her sword. She obeyed, wiping the sweat from her forehead.

   "So, Lexa."

   "Yes, teacher?"

   "I need to ask you something." The girl didn't say anything, she just stood there, unmoving. "Lexa, are you having problems with Clarke? You can tell me."

   At those words Lexa's eyes widened, and she looked down at her feet. "No, teacher."

   "Then what is it? I know something's not right, I saw you looking her way."

   Seeing herself cornered by her mentor the girl sighed, eyes lowered to the ground. "I don't have any problems with her. I just..." the girl huffed and crossed her arms on her chest. "I just don't want her to think something bad of me. I know other children think I'm scary, because of my training, and because I'm a nightblood. They look at me differently because one day, I could become the next commander. I just," she sighed heavy and uncrossed her arms. "I don't want her to look at me that way. Costia doesn't, but she travels a lot and then I'm alone again."

   Anya eyes softened at the girl's confession, and she crouched in front of her so that their eyes were at the same level. "I understand. But, if like you say, you do want to be her friend, why won't you talk to her? She told me that you wouldn't look her in the eyes nor talk to her."

   "I was just scared."

   "Scared? Of what?"

   "That if I looked her in the eyes, she would see that I was so afraid. And that, if I talked too much, she would decide that she didn't like me. Or something else, I don't know. I just didn't want her to look at me like _that_."

   She looked at her feet again, her eyes sad and her expression defeated. "It doesn't matter anymore, anyway."

   "Why not?"

   "She has Costia, now. They get along, and I... I don't know how to be like that. I only know what you, Heda and Titus teach me. Nothing more. What should I do?"

   "Well, how did you become friends with Costia?"

   "She's a friend of Luna. She came to visit her once, in Polis, and I was there. Then when she came here for the first time I was here and she just came to me and started talking."

   Anya thought about it for a while. She knew that most of the nightbloods found difficult to relate with other children because of their blood. The other children didn't start any kind of training until they were at least ten, the nightbloods started it as soon as they could walk. That made them appear intimidating to the others.

   "You know, I'm pretty sure that Clarke doesn't know what the black blood means. She wasn't born here, Lexa. You can start fresh with her."

   Lexa nodded at that, but Anya knew that this wasn't the end of the thing.

 

  ///

 

   In fact, a few days later, Lexa was walking quietly through the village, stretching her sore muscles and applying an ointment made of erbs on her hands. The training was rough and her hands hurt even more than the muscles, the skin slowly getting used to the hilt of the sword.

   She was just enjoying the cold breeze of the evening air, when a shriek made her jump. She turned to see who had made that noise and she froze.

   A few meters away from her, a boy not older than twelve had pushed a tiny girl on the ground, and now was standing over her with a triumphant smile. She snapped out of it when she saw that the tiny girl was Clarke.

   When she heard the boy tell Clarke that she was a liar that should have been sent back to where she came from, she ran towards him and pushed him away from her.

   "How brave of you, insulting a girl half your size, still healing and untrained."

   He was going to answer back at her, but then he recognized her and lost some of his courage.

   "She was telling lies. You believe that she came down from the sky?"

   "Of course I do! I saw her falling."

   Unsure, but not satisfied yet, he replaced his intimidated expression with a scowl. "And why should I trust you? How do I know that you're telling the truth?"

   Lexa narrowed her eyes and took a menacing step toward the boy, which took one step back.

   "Are you calling me a liar?"

   He swallowed. "No. No, I'm sorry." Defeated, he backed away and disappeared.

 

***

 

   Back in Anya's tent, Lexa was helping Clarke undoing her hair, which had gotten dirty when she had fallen to the ground. They hadn't talked yet, Lexa was gathering the courage to say that she was sorry about her behavior the other days, but the blonde beated her.

   "Thank you for earlier."

   "You're welcome."

   "I didn't understand everything..."

   Only then Lexa remembered that the girl didn't speak Trigedasleng well yet.

   "...but I think he called me a liar, right? He doesn't believe I lived in the sky." concluded Clarke.

   "That's right."

   "You defended me."

   Lexa only nodded. That was it, the right moment. _Say sorry, now._

   Again Clarke preceded her. "Why? I thought you didn't like me."

   _Now Lexa! Say sorry!_

   "I... It's not that. I do."

   _What? You can do better than that._

   "I mean, I like you. Just, I didn't like what he was doing. Just wanted to help."

   _Pause. Breathe. Gather courage. Go._

   "I'm sorry I made you think I didn't like you. I was just..." She fumbled with her words, trying to find a good way to say it without sounding weird.

   "You were just what?" Clarke asked.

   "I was just... worried, I think. Usually the other children don't want to talk to me, and if they do then they think I'm different from them." Lexa said sadly.

   Clarke just looked at her for a while not saying anything. Then she asked: "Like that boy earlier?"

   She nodded.

   "Why?"

   Lexa mumbled an answer, making Clarke chuckle in amusement. "What was that?"

   "I said, because my blood is black."

   "Cool!"

   "What?" Lexa lifted her gaze, meeting Clarke's exited big blue eyes.

   "I said that's cool. Wait, I mean, it's black just because, or you're sick and so it turned black?"

   "No, I'm not sick. The black blood is the blood of the commanders."

   "Anya told me about the commanders. So, one day, you will be commander?"

   _Here we are. Now she'll think I'm different too. Nice go, Lexa. Well done._

   The brunette sighed deeply and looked at her feet, again. "Maybe. I could, but there are others that could do it, too, so I don't know yet."

   Lexa wasn't sure about what she was expecting, but that certainly wasn't what she got.

   Clarke squealed making her jump, then her eyes widened and her hand stopped mid air. "Oh my God, so you would be, like, _the boss!_ It would be _so cool!_ "

   After that, everything went by like in a blur. She helped Clarke wash her hair, and they talked about everything, Lexa finally opening up to the blonde.

   And then, Clarke did something that seemed to be the most common thing to her, but for Lexa, grown up without parents, spending her days training, studying and then training again since she was old enough to walk by herself, that was one of the most amazing things in the world.

   She _hugged_ her.

   She hugged her and hold her tight, and in that moment Lexa realized that she had been wrong.

   It wasn't just amazing, it was the best thing ever.

 

   _December_

 

   "For how long will you be away?"

   "Few months. Don't worry, I'll be back soon and you have each other to keep yourself company, now."

   Costia hugged them both and then smiled. "You two are too cute with those pouts, I mean, really. You're just cute."

   "I'm not cute." mumbled Lexa, making the other two laugh at her annoyed expression and crossed arms.

 

   _February_

 

   "Clarke, I'll leave tomorrow."

   "I'm gonna miss you so much."

   "I'll be back in three months."

   "I know. But, what will I do all the time now that both you and Costia won't be here anymore? I'll get bored."

   At that, Lexa just laughed and shook her head. "I'm sure you will find something. Just, try non to forget about me, ok?"

   "Silly, like I could forget you. You're my best friend."

   Lexa was stunned. She knew that Costia's best friend was Luna, and she herself had never had a best friend. So when Clarke called her that, she felt something warm spreading through her chest, and she smiled.

   "Alright, I'll try to keep you in mind too, but I can't make promises."

 

  ///

 

   The day after, Clarke went to say goodbye to her friend who was leaving to go spend her duty time in Polis with the other nihtbloods. She wished her good luck and hugged her. She did a lot of that lately. What could she say, Clarke Griffin was a hugger.

   Before letting her go, Clarke left a soft kiss on her cheek.

   None of them saw Anya snickering at the sight of Lexa, blushing and stuttering trying to say goodbye.

 

   _Two weeks later_

 

   "Anya, I'm cold." Clarke sneezed and buried deeper under the furs.

   Outside was raining, and as much as she had enjoyed the first week of the new wheater, after a while it had started to become too much for her. Winter was odd. Clarke found it beautiful, amazing even, but then it went from refreshing to rigid, cold, freezing and harsh. Lexa once had told her that in the north it was even worse, and that everything was covered in white snow, and she almost envied them for the sight. Almost.

   And now since this was her first winter ever, she had caught a cold. She wasn't used to this weather, and her life in the constant temperature on the Ark was just a memory now.

   Now, she was freezing cold.

   When she started coughing, Anya got in the bed with her, warming her up, and started stroking her hair and her back to help her relax.

   "I'm here, Little Star."

   Clarke couldn't help thinking about her mom, how she used to do the same when she was scared or sick, or both. She snuggled closer to the woman and fell asleep.

 

   _May_

 

   "Finally! You're back!"

   Clarke barged in Lexa's tent and jumped to hug her. After months of abstinence, the brunette was very happy to receive one of those hugs. She had missed them so much.

   "I missed you. I was so bored all the time, you have no idea."

   Lexa laughed and let go of her friend. The blonde helped her finish unpacking her things while the two made plans for the evening.

 

   _June_

 

   "Costia! I'm so happy to see you!"

   "Hi, Clarke! Your trigedasleng has improved a lot!"

   "Yeah. Lexa and Anya had been teaching me."

   "They did a great job."

   They hugged again and then went to the training field to sit on the log. After having watched Lexa's training session, the three of them went to find something to eat and caught up on everything with the girl. Turned out, in a couple of months she would have had to leave again, this time to go visit Polis.

 

   _A year later - December_

 

   Anya walked into her tent to find Clarke on the ground, sketching a landscape on a sheet with some charcoal.

   After the landing of the metal thing she had come down with, they had dismantled it, recycling everything that could be recycled. The supplies inside had been splitted equally among the people of TonDC. Of course, Clarke had claimed as many art supplies as she could.

   Anya sat beside her daughter and admired her last artwork. The little girl was good at it, sure she still needed a lot of practice, but everyone could tell she was a natural. Anyways, the general wasn't there just for her daughter's drawing abilities.

   "Clarke, a little more than a month ago you turned ten."

   She smiled. "Wow, you noticed?"

   "Funny. Anyway, since you're ten now, I think you're old enough. As the chief's daughter, I would like it if you started training. With me."

   "Holy Spirit, Anya, seriously?!"

   The girl jumped up and hugged her stepmother, who immediately hugged her back. A few moments later, anyway, the blonde distanced herself from the woman, keeping her hands on her shoulders.

   "What is it, Little Star?"

   "What about Lexa?"

   The general knitted her eyebrows in confusion. "What about Lexa?"

   "Will you spend less time training her if you do it with me too?"

   "Oh. No, Clarke. Let me finish." The blonde girl nodded and sat back on the ground. "So, I think I understand that you would like to become a healer, right?" She nodded again. "Nyko would be willing to teach you, along with Costia when she's here, but you will be his main apprentice. You could train with Lexa in the mornings, everyday, and then with Nyko in the afternoons. He will decide how many days a week, that's up to him. And don't worry about Lexa, I will train her alone everyday in the afternoons. So what do you say?"

   Anya stared expectantly at her for a while, and then suddenly she found herself surrounded by blonde hair in a bone crushing hug. She smiled and patted Clarke's back.

   Then again, suddenly, the girl jumped away and ran out the tent yelling at her: "I need to tell her! Be right back!"

   Of course Anya knew who she was talking about. And she as well knew that every time Clarke had told her 'be right back' she actually meant 'we're disappearing for hours it's pointless to seek us'.

 

  ///

 

   "Lexa!"

   The brunette jumped, hitting her head against the table she had been under, looking for a painted little stone Clarke had gifted her. Holding her sore head between her hands, she muttered a curse with gritted theet.

   "What the... Lexa what on earth are you doing?"

   "Nothing." she mumbled, then she grabbed the stone and got on her feet. "What's happening?"

   The blonde girl jumped right back on topic and flashed her a blinding smile. "Anya said it's time I start training! I'll be her second too, and Nyko will teach me as well. I will become a healer!"

   Lexa stood stunned for a few seconds, then blinked and smiled. "Really? So we will train together?"

   "Only in the mornings, but yes."

   Surprisingly, Lexa found herself oddly exited at the prospect of spending her training time with her best friend.

 

   _April_

 

   "Please, Clarke. I need you to understand. You cannot come with us."

   "I do understand. But I don't like it."

   "I know." Anya was crouched in front of her stepdaughter, her armor on and her warpaint already applied. She sighed, trying to stay calm for her daughter's sake. And maybe for her own, too.

   The everlasting war among the twelve clans was raging. They had splitted into few fragile alliances, each one of them doing its best to survive. The mountain took life after life, and the war was nowhere near the end. The Boat Clan, ally of the Trigeda Clan, refused to fight and had isolated itself in the ocean. Only the Boat People responsible for the trades with the Trikru were allowed to travel. Now, Azgeda, along with the Desert Clan and the Plain Riders were fighting against the Trikru, Glowing Forest, Broadleaf Clan and Blue Cliff, while the others tried either to stay neutral, or to wait for a winner to be at their side. And now, Anya was going to fight. And Lexa was going to follow her.

   Needless to say, Clarke was worried. Proud, yes. But worried.

   "Listen, Clarke." Anya tucked a blonde strand of hair behind the girl's ear. "We will be back. I promise, you know how it works. We take turns. It will be a few months, but then we will be back."

   "Promise?"

   "Promise."

   "Be careful."

   Anya smiled at that. "I'm always careful, Little Star."

   They hugged, never wanting to let go, but at the end they had to.

   Then it was Lexa's turn, who was just finishing saying goodbye to Costia. When she arrived in front of her best friend, the blonde immediately pulled her in hug, holding her tighter than ever.

   They stayed like that for a while, then Clarke left a kiss on her cheek and murmured: "Make sure you come back to me."

   The only thing Lexa could do was nod.

 

   _Two weeks later_

 

   "Clarke, you need to rest. Please."

   Clarke and Costia were cuddled up together under the furs in Anya's bed. The blonde had asked her friend to keep her company, since she couldn't seem to sleep. At first, the general scent had calmed her down enough to fall asleep, then she had even tried Lexa's bed, but after a while the girl's scent had faded too, and now she was scared. She was so worried all the time. She didn't want to lose neither her mother, nor her best friend, and both of them were currently fighting a war.

   "Clarke."

   "I know. I just," she rolled over so she was facing the girl. "I already lost one family. I don't think I can lose them too. What if they never come back?"

   By now she was crying, all her fears too strong for her little heart. Just like the first time, the day they met, the brunette wiped her tears with the sleeve of her shirt.

   "They will come back. They promised."

 

   _May_

 

   Lexa was cold.

   Not freezing, but still cold. She was under the furs in the tent she shared with Anya, in the temporary camp in Azgeda territory. The girl found shocking how a winter that was meant to end months ago, was just now starting to warm up. The snow had melted away, and the sun was finally showing up once in a while.

   She was almost thirteen years-old, and she was thinking about Clarke. The blonde always gifted her something for her birthday. She said in the sky they used to celebrate people's birthday, and while she had found it strange at first, like Anya, them both had quickly adapted to their Little Star's custom.

   Lexa smiled at the thought of the blonde girl, how she had smiled when Lexa for the first time had gifted her, her own favorite necklace, a black thin cord with a small blue stone. She wouldn't wear it most of the time because of her training, anyway, or at least that's how she had explained the gift to herself. It surely wasn't because Clarke seemed to adore it way too much. It has been on her first birthday on the ground, and the brunette had earned an extra long hug for that.

   Now she missed her friend. Anya was good company of course, and she had Luna there too, but it wasn't the same.

   She wondered when she had become so depending from the younger girl.

 

   _August_

 

   They were back. Oh Spirit, they were back.

   That was the only thing Clarke could think about all day. The day before a scout had announced the arrival of the army and had said that the chief and her second were with them. And Clarke was just so goddamn happy. Of course Nyko and Indra, the second general in command, that had trained her while Anya was gone, had noticed it and had left her a free day. She was eternally grateful.

   Now, she was waiting by the gate, by Indra's side, with the families of the other warriors. "You did well while she was away, Clarke. She will be proud."

   The deep voice of the dark-skinned woman helped calming down her nerves. She nodded, her voice momentarily gone.

   When the gate finally opened and they entered the village, Clarke jumped in Anya's arms hugging her with all the strength she could muster.

   "I missed you so much, mom."

   Hearing the word 'mom', Anya smiled, hugging her tighter. "I missed you too, Little Star."

   When she went to hug Lexa, she left a kiss on her cheek and whispered in her tiny ear: "You came back."

   "I promised." the girl mumbled against her shoulder.

   When they pulled back, Clarke saw something different in the green eyes of her best friend. They were deeper, sadder, worried and so, so scared.

   She was hurt.

   Broken.

 

***

 

   That night, Clarke slept with her mother. She had missed her so much and now she was scared that if she fell asleep too far away from her, she would have been gone when she woke up. A few hours after she had closed her eyes, something poked her, forcing her to wake up.

   She opened her eyes and saw Lexa, looking so little and fragile near the edge of the bed, tears rolling down her cheeks. Anya was awake too - she couldn't sleep - but she stayed quiet.

   "Clarke." said quietly the brunette, using the back of her hand to wipe away a few tears. "Clarke, I had a nightmare. Can I- can I sleep with you? Please?"

   At that, Anya scooted back to make room for the girl in the bed, and Clarke took her hand, guiding her under the furs. She hugged her with everything she had, slowly calming her down enough for her to fall asleep again, the war she had to partake in never really leaving her mind.

 

   _Two years later - September_

 

   "Our army is needed near the border of the Rock Line Clan, they have sided with Azgeda, and they will make their move soon. We need to be ready."

   "I see. I'll wait you here, then."

   "No, Clarke."

   Three heads snapped in Anya's direction at the same time. One in confusion, one in curiosity and one in horror.

   Costia, who was packing her stuff to go back to the Boat Clan, was the curious one. She and Clarke had studied together a lot in the past two years, helping Nyko with everything he needed, and they were really close to one another.

   Lexa was horrified. She knew what that phrase meant. Clarke was going with them, she was going to her first battle. How she wished she could change the world in that moment, so that her friend wouldn't have had to see something like that. She still had nightmares, she didn't want Clarke to have them too.

   The blonde was just confused. Then Anya looked at her with her eyes filled with sorrow, and now she was worried too.

   When the general told her she was going to go with them, she didn't feel joy, or excitement. She was scared to die, she was worried she wasn't good enough, she was proud that her mother thought she was ready, and she was relieved.

   For the first time, at least she wouldn't have had to wait for them without knowing anything.

   At least, she could have been with them.

 

   _January_

 

   After months of war, she understood why Lexa kept having nightmares. Why she had hardened so much that she resembled an iced stone from Azgeda after her first time in battle, allowing herself to show how fragile and broken she was only during night time.

   The war was awful, no worse, it was horrific, cruel, dirty, pointless and wrong.

   She understood why Anya had had that sorrowful look in her eyes when she had told her she was going to war.

   They shared a tent. Every night, the three of them would cuddle under the furs to sleep together, keeping the nightmares at bay, at least for the moment.

   There, she met two other nightbloods. One was a boy, called Fanis, and the other was Luna. She immediately liked the girl, and she understood why Costia was so fond of her, too.

 

   _July_

 

   After lots of sleepless nights spent in Anya's or Lexa's arms, Clarke was slowly starting to feel like herself again. The nightmares were still there, but less frequent and she had learned to control herself after waking up.

   Now, it was the middle of July and she was trying to convince a boy to exchange a book he had found for a box of painted leaves she was quite fond of. They were an experiment, one that she considered a success, but the book was for Lexa's sixteenth birthday and she wanted it to be special. That girl loved to read so she was going to get her a damn book, no matter the cost.

   At the end, she had gotten that book, and Lexa had loved it. Literally.

   Clarke was so proud of herself.

   After a good dinner, the two girls sneaked out to go stargazing together. That had become an habit for them, sometimes Costia and Luna would join them, if they were around. That night, however, the two girls were alone, both enjoying each other's company in a comfortable silence.

   It wasn't at all Clarke's intention to fall asleep with her head on her best friend's shoulder, and honestly Lexa couldn't bring herself to wake up the girl. That's how she found herself carrying her bridal style towards her own tent.

   She settled her down and covered her with her bed's furs, before getting in beside her and softly kissing her hair.

   "Good night, Little Star."

 

   _November_

 

   They were training when they heard them. The horns.

   Everything stopped and for a minute nobody dared to say anything.

   Anya was quiet and sad.

   Clarke was looking at Lexa and Lexa was looking at Clarke. They both knew what that meant.

   "Heda is dead."

 

 


	2. The Conclave

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys. So i wasn't going to post it today, but then i realized i needed your opinion about later chapters soo, you get this one early. Don't get used to it.  
> TRIGGER WARNING: there's violence in this chapter. If it may trigger you, skip the part: the conclave - part 1.  
> Hope you enjoy!

 

   _November_

 

   "Heda is dead."

   "I'm coming with you."

   At that, Lexa's head snapped to the side to look at her. "Clarke, I-"

   "No, Lexa. I'm not hearing this. You are not going alone."

   "No, she's not." Anya chimed in. Both girls turned to look at her. The general was standing tall and motionless in the middle of the field, her long leather coat making her look even taller than usual. "We are coming with you, Lexa. We can, and we will."

   "But I could die Anya!" snapped the sixteen years-old warrior.

   "We know."

   "Then why would you want to see that?! To see what I will have to do?!"

   "Because we're not going to let you face it alone." Clarke said.

   The brunette closed her eyes and tried to contain the tears. But then, two pair of warm arms encircled her in a loving embrace, and she couldn't hold it back anymore.

   She cried.

 

   _Three days later_

 

   Polis was different from how Clarke had imagined it. The streets were busy and noisy, the people almost panicked and exited at the same time because of the impending conclave. Lexa, like the other nightbloods that were one by one arriving at the gate, was greeted by cheering people, overjoyed children and chanting warriors, all of them waiting for the next commander to be chosen.

   When the three reached the huge tower in the middle of the city, Lexa guided them through the hallways and the rooms until they got to a silent chamber, where the former Heda was resting, now forever. There, a bald man with tattoos on his head came to greet them. From what Lexa had told her, Clarke assumed he was Titus, her teacher.

   He immediately took Lexa's arm in his hand, their typical formal greeting, then he did the same with Anya and Clarke. The blonde thought he disliked her, if the way he was scanning her with a disapproving look was anything to go by. She wondered why for the briefest moment, mostly because then he had two guards showing her and Anya their room, making them leave Lexa in the chamber with the other nightbloods, staring at their fate in each other eyes.

 

***

 

   Later that day, Anya was walking quietly with her second, just enjoying each other's company. She knew something was bugging the girl, so she waited until she was ready to talk.

   "Anya?"

   "Yes?"

   "You know how Clarke is my best friend, right?"

   "Of course."

   "I was thinking about something Titus always says."

   "What does he say?"

   "That love is weakness."

   Anya was taken aback by that, but she tried not to show it. Now wasn't the time for that, she had to listen and support the girl. She needed to. "I love you, Lexa, but I'm not weak because of that. Nor are you."

   "I love you too, Anya. And I love Clarke, she is very important to me."

   "And you to her."

   The brunette sighed heavily, closing her eyes for one moment. "I've wanted to do something for a while. Not too much time, just a few months, but now..."

   "Now?"

   "Now I don't know if I should even try. I could die tomorrow, and then I would never even have had a chance, but if I do it and then I die, it could be even worse for her."

   "When you say 'her'-"

   "I mean Clarke."

   "Lexa, I'm not sure I understand what you're trying to say," Anya raised a hand when she saw that the girl had opened her mouth to speak, stopping her. "But, I think I get it. And honestly, I think that either way, if you die tomorrow she will be distraught. Either you do it or not. So you might as well try. What do you have to lose?"

   Lexa bit her bottom lip with a frown adorning her features. "What if I do it, but she doesn't... she doesn't..."

   "You won't know if you don't try."

   The girl sighed heavily, again, looking at the tower with worry in her eyes. "I like her Anya." the girl whispered.

   "Clarke?" She nodded. "I know."

   "Really?" This time it was Anya's turn to nod. "Do you think she knows, too?"

   "I think she hope so."

   "So you think I should tell her?"

   Her mentor put her hands on Lexa's shoulders, looking at her in the eyes. "I think you could die tomorrow, and if you don't do it while you still can, you will never know what it feels like. You would die wondering what it would have been like if only you had dared to try, and you would regret not doing it with everything you have, trust me." The general squeezed her second's shoulders gently. "Do not risk it."

 

***

 

   That evening, Lexa had made up her mind. Anya was right, she could die tomorrow and if she didn't do it, she was going to regret it. Deeply.

   So that evening, before sundown, she met Clarke in her room and asked her if she was willing to go on a walk with her. During the walk, she took her hand in hers, intertwining their fingers, sighing in relief when the blonde didn't reject her. Lexa led them to a small hill near the city, where they could see the commander's tower and admire it in the light of the sunset. With their hands still joined, the two girl remined silent for a while, neither of them knowing how to tell the other all the things they wanted to say.

   Just like when they were younger, Clarke beated her on the time.

   "I'm scared."

   Lexa squeezed gently her hand to reassure her. "Me too."

   They went silent again, and Lexa was trying so hard to gather the damn courage to tell her, she wanted to tell her, needed to tell her. But she was so, so scared.

   Again, Clarke was faster.

   "I want you to have this." She let go of her hand to reach for her chest, and Lexa immediately missed the contact. Then she saw that Clarke was taking off her necklace, the one with the little blue stone she had gifted her for her birthday, some time ago.

   "No Clarke."

   "Yes, please."

   "But-"

   "Do you remember, when you gave it to me, that thing you said? That the blue stone-"

   "Reminded me of the sky you came from." Lexa finished the phrase for her, in a soft murmur.

   "I want you to have it. So I'll be with you all the time."

   "How about this. If I end up winning, I will take it back. If not, at least you will have something to remind you of me."

   Clarke blue eyes filled with tears while she nodded, putting the necklace back under her shirt and coat. "Lexa, I don't want you to die."

   The fourteen years-old girl's voice broke at the end of that sentence, and salted tears started rolling down their cheeks. Both of them were crying while they were hugging tightly. When they pulled back, Lexa wiped Clarke's tears and then cupped her cheeks with her hands. Now was the moment. She breathed deeply.

   "Clarke." she murmured. Blue eyes met green ones. "I want to try to do something. Just, tell me if you want me to stop, ok?"

   The girl nodded slightly, never averting her gaze.

   "Clarke, do you know why that necklace has always been my favorite?" Clarke shook her head. "Because it makes me think about you, it reminds me of the color of your eyes. I've always loved your eyes, they're the same color of the summer sky."

   The blonde smiled sweetly, but didn't do anything else. She was waiting for Lexa to make her move.

   And she did.

   Trembling slightly, Lexa leaned in and gently connected their lips. Their first kiss was sweet, slow, and so gentle. They kept their eyes closed, Lexa's hands cupping the blonde's cheeks, and Clarke's resting on the nightblood's sides.

   It was everything they wanted it to be.

   It was perfect.

   After a while, when the bright light of the sunset was mostly faded, and the stars were appearing up in the sky, Clarke rested her forehead against Lexa's, sighing quietly.

   She whispered: "Make sure you return to me."

   Lexa dutifully nodded.

 

   _The day after - The Conclave, part 1_

 

   Lexa was waiting in a line with the other nightbloods right in the middle of arena. A big crowd was gathered all around the ring, and she searched it with her eyes, looking for her mentor and her friends.

   She spotted them and, when their eyes met, she noticed that Clarke's and Costia's were red and a little swollen. They had cried, after all, both their best friends were risking to die today. And one of them will have to, for only one nightblood can be chosen.

   The thought of killing Luna or be killed by her made her sick.

   The two nightbloods nodded slightly towards their friends, that waved their hands in return. Anya nodded at her with a serious expression, but Lexa could see her eyes softening while her hand went to Clarke's shoulder and squeezed.

   And then, it started.

 

  ///

 

   Clarke observed while the nightbloods got into position, forming a wide circle along the perimeter of the arena. Exactly at the center, swords, spears and daggers, nine of each type, stood planted in the ground.

   Clarke knew how the conclave worked. The novices would fight until only two of them would stand above the others. The next day, the two would fight in a solo gonplei, and the winner would be declared Heda.

   Seeing them getting ready, she grabbed Costia's hand and leaned in the hold of her mother. The horns resounded.

   Black blood soaked the ground.

 

  ///

 

   She heard the horns and her mind snapped. Instead of making a run for the weapons like most of the others, she launched on the little girl on her right. The cild - she was only a child - tried to dodge her hand, but she was way faster. Her palm collided with her face, breaking her nose. In a second, Lexa was behind her and had grabbed her head and her chin. In one swift motion, she kicked the girl's knee and used the movement to turn her head viciously. The neck cracked and the child went limp.

   One. Her name was Kerah. She was only nine years-old and had admired Lexa to no end like a sister.

   And she had killed her with no mercy.

   The second was a boy, thirteen. Mikal.

   She disarmed him and used his spear to make him trip, then sinked the sharp metal tip in his chest. Instantly, ink colored blood poured out of the wound, even worse when she retracted the weapon. She turned and threw it to the other side of the arena, killing a boy slightly older than her, Artis.

   Three less. Five to go.

 

  ///

 

   Clarke felt Costia's grip her hand tighter when she saw the girl try to kill a boy with messy hair and Luna launching herself on her. They were fighting with their swords colliding loudly one against the other. Soon enough, Luna gained the upper hand making the other girl back away.

   Clarke shifted her gaze and saw Lexa turn on the left just in time to dodge the attack of a boy, whose sword missed her by a few inches.

   A light rain started to fall, drenching the ground and turning the arena into a mud-filled circle.

 

  ///

 

   Lexa dodged his attacks, answered with her blade and after seconds a third person joined their fight. It was another boy, younger and smaller than the other one. Seeing Lexa was one of the better warriors among the nightbloods, the boys charged at her at the same time. She dodged a few strikes and countered others, but then the taller guy kicked her, making her trip and fall on her back.

   The little one kicked her sword from her hand and the other got the final strike. Instead of her, he killed the little boy when he wasn't expecting it. Using the small distraction to her favor, she rolled over and grabbed her sword.

   He was on her in no time, he grabbed her wrist making her lose the grip on the hilt, rendered slippery by mud and blood. She headbutted him and rolled on her back, trying to get his sword. The two fought vigorously, rolling on the ground.

   Within seconds, the sword flew away and they started fighting with their bare hands.

 

  ///

 

   Clarke was trembling like a leaf while watching the nightbloods fight. She saw Lexa fight with punches and kicks against a guy bigger than her. She was covered in black blood, same as him, and she couldn't tell if it was hers or not.

   She gasped when she saw Luna finish with a fast stab the girl she was fighting and instantly turn to face the next. She waved her sword, killing the boy with the messy hair with only one powerful strike.

   It was only then, when she heard Costia's muffled cry and saw Luna's shocked and pained expression, that Clarke realized the boy was her brother.

   When she couldn't hold the sight anymore, she returned her attention to Lexa, praying she would survive, trying not to think about Luna's little brother.

 

  ///

 

   The boy was trying to choke her, but she wasn't having it. She landed a well aimed punch to his side that made him jump with pain. Taking advantage of the moment, she landed another one to the same point, and pushed him off of her.

   By now she was panting, everything hurt and her clothes were drenched in blood. She got up on her feet and straddled him. With all the strength she could muster, she started punching him repeatedly in the face and the torso. After having broken his nose and having knocked the air out of his lungs, she stopped and got up.

   Her legs were wobbling and her steps faltered slightly when she walked to get the nearest dagger. She went back to him, limp on the ground, barely breathing, with so much blood and mud on him that she almost couldn't see the pale color of his skin.

   She straddled him again, lifted her arms with the dagger hold tight in her hands, and lowered it aiming for his chest.

 

  ///

 

   The three of them breathed a relieved sigh when they saw that the only two people left were Lexa and Luna. The latter was still kneeling beside her brother, shock and pain swirling in her eyes.

   Lexa was slowly getting up and wasn't showing any intention in going near her.

 

  ///

 

   Her expression wasn't pained, or shocked or regretful. She was there, covered in mud and ink-colored blood, but her face was cold like ice and hard like stone.

   She was a monster. What had she done? She had killed her friends. Children. Persons she was fond of, some of them admired her, some of them viewed her like a sister. Some, like a protector. She had grown up with them! And now they were dead. By her hands!

   She was sure of it now. The nightmares would never end.

   She didn't deserve the peaceful rest.

 

***

 

   That night nobody was allowed to see her. She wished she could talk to Anya, ask for her advice. She wished she could sleep with Clarke, when the nightmares took control of her that night. The blonde would always make things seem better somehow.

   But she couldn't, and she wouldn't have asked for it anyway. She didn't deserve to sleep and dream after the things she did.

   That night, she screamed their names, her voice dripping with sorrow and regret and affection.

   Nobody was there to hear her.

 

  ///

 

   "Why can't we see them?"

   "They need some rest. Tomorrow will be hard for them."

   "Anya... We can't just let them face it alone. One of them will die tomorrow by the other's hand!"

   "I know Clarke. But we are not allowed to see them. It's for the best."

   " _What!?_ "

   The general looked briefly at the sleeping form of Costia, huddled under the furs.

   "You said it yourself, Clarke. One of them will die tomorrow." she paused and looked at her with sad eyes.

   "Do you really think you could say goodbye to her a second time?"

 

   _The day after - The Conclave, part 2_

 

   The air was humid because of the rain the previous day, and was still rather chilly. The ground was still covered in mud and puddles, and the sky was grey and clouded.

   Lexa was still and quiet, in the center of the arena, focused on her breathing, trying to regulate her pulse.

   She was waiting for Luna.

   Waiting was unnerving.

   The more she waited, the more she could think. And question.

   _How much longer? When will she arrive? What is she doing?_

   _How am I going to do this? I don't want to kill her. But I don't want to die either._

   _Maybe I could stall the fight? How long are they willing to wait? It would never work._

   _Maybe I could just do it, make sure it isn't painful for her. First, I should get her. She won't go down without a fight. And there's Costia, I can't do it to her._

   _But I will have to._

   _I can't die today. I won't disappoint Anya, nor Clarke._

   _After all, I'm already a monster, right? What could one more face in my nightmares do? They are so many, already._

   She was so focused on her thoughts, that she didn't see the incredulous expression of Titus at something a guard was saying. She didn't noticed the mix of worry and relief painted on her three friends' faces.

   She didn't know that Luna wasn't going to fight.

   She had won.

   She was Heda.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope that was good enough! Let me know.  
> Now, back to business. I would like your opinion.  
> Do you prefer long or short chapters? Next one is pretty long, if you want i'll split it in two.  
> What do you think about a Luna/Costia relationship?  
> And, do you Jake alive or dead?  
> I know it's a lot, but since i like this story i want you to like it too.  
> Thanks for reading!


	3. Ai Laik Heda

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go, chap 3.  
> Long chapter, i probably won't update too soon, but I'll try to hurry.  
> TRIGGER WARNING: violence, skip when you read: April - Clarke was exhausted.  
> Non graphic violence, if it bothers you stop reading at: Lexa stood there, in the arena. and start again at: Later that night.  
> Really hope you enjoy!

 

   _The day after the Ascension_

 

   When they entered the room, they found Lexa sitting on the throne. She had a new sparkle in her eyes, something that wasn't there before. She looked majestic, regal, and dangerous with her new warpaint.

   She looked like Heda.

   To Clarke, she looked like a more powerful version of her Lexa, but still beautiful.

   Costia was ready to head home, she saluted the new commander and went with her parents.

   "We will have to get back to TonDC soon, Heda."

   "I understand, Anya. Don't worry."

   Since they were alone, the general hugged her former second as tightly as she could, murmuring her goodbyes in her hair. The woman said she was going to wait outside so they could have a little privacy, and reached the door. As soon as the door closed, the blonde threw her arms at Lexa's neck and breathed a sigh of relief. She felt the brunette's arms tighten around her waist and a smile against her shoulder.

   "Oh! I almost forgot." Clarke disentangled herself from her friend and reached for the necklace. "You said you would have taken this back if you had won."

   Quietly, she tied it loosely around Lexa's slender neck and adjusted it so it would fall right above her heart. A tanned hand came to cover hers on the warrior's chest, and both stayed silent for a while, savoring the moment.

   "You came back."

   "I promised."

 

  ///

 

   "I'm going to miss you, Clarke."

   "Me too. I'll make sure to come see you as soon as possible."

   "I know."

   The two hugged, and Lexa almost felt like herself again, if only for a second. She was so scared and worried, but the spirit gave her a new strength, a new determination. She knew what she had to do.

   But for now, she would just make sure that Clark knew.

   "Clarke. Remember the night before the Conclave?"

   "Mhmm."

   "Well, I just wanted to be sure you knew, that I wasn't- it wasn't just a slip for me. I was serious."

   "Good."

 

   _February_

 

   "Clarke! I need you to clean his wounds, then I'll bandage them. Are you done with that girl yet?"

   "Yes, Nyko, she's good to go. I'll get started with him in a moment."

   Clarke was in the medical tent with Nyko, their healer. Her training was keeping her busy almost everyday, since winter was a harsh season and people would get injured or ill more easily. Now, she was cleaning the wounds of a boy with dark skin and kind eyes. She was almost done, when he woke up with a start. He relaxed almost instantly, and smiled at her.

   "Hi."

   She chuckled. "Hi."

   "I'm Lincoln."

   "Clarke."

   "How bad is it?"

   "Not too much, you should see the boar. He's been better."

   Lincoln's smile widened. "Good one. You're funny."

   "So I've been told."

 

   _March_

 

   Clarke and Lincoln were sitting inside the boy's hut, confronting they're drawings. The two had bonded rapidly after that day in the medical tent, especially after they discovered their shared passions for art and medicine. That day, they were just drawing and talking in his tent when Indra barged in telling them that Anya had news from Heda.

   When they reached the place, they found a crowd gathered around Anya, who was speaking in hushed tones with a messenger. They got nearer and saw Anya getting on a small wooden stage, and rising her arm to intimate silence.

   "Heda has sent a message with important news. She wants to form a coalition among the clans, _all of them_."

   At her words an anxious murmur spreaded in the crowd, and the general had to ask for silence again. "There will be war, that's for sure. But the end goal, is peace. And now our Heda is asking us, if we are with her or against her! Will we go to war by her side, or will we fight her?!"

   A roar raised from the people like they were one, without incertitudes. The answer was clear.

   "GON WAR!"

 

   _Two weeks later_

 

   "Heda, the Trikru army has arrived. Generals Anya and Indra wish to see you, together with a young healer."

   "Let them in."

   The guard nodded and opened the door fully, letting them pass, then closed it behind them. The three of them sinked on their knees to show their respect, and only got up when she said so. She was standing on the steps in front of her throne, at her right side Titus was quiet and observant.

   Anya started to talk first. "Heda, the Trikru army is at your service, we will fight with you."

   "Good. Titus."

   "Heda?"

   "How many clans have sent answers with my messengers so far?"

   "Only four, Heda, excluding Trikru. The Boat Clan is with you, along with the Blue Cliff and the Glowing Forest. Rock Line rejected your offer and we don't have news from any of the others yet."

   "Mmm." Lexa started pacing slowly, an unreadable expression on her face. "I expect that at least Azgeda, Sankru and the Plain Riders will reject my offer as well. The Lake People too, but they're not a certainty yet. We need to be ready. Start to get our troops into position along the borders, but still near enough that our messengers can get to them quickly. Don't spread them too much, they have to cover a lot of ground without losing their strength, tell them to use the scouts. Go."

 

  ///

 

   After Lexa had organized the army and Anya and Indra had left, the brunette sat on her throne with a fist under her chin and told Titus to leave. Finally alone with her best friend, Clarke wasn't sure how to behave. Lexa wasn't wearing her warpaint, but her face was blank and emotionless, and it looked like she didn't even see her standing in the middle of the room.

   She started thinking it was better to just leave her alone for a moment, but her beautiful voice stopped her dead in her track after only a few steps.

   "Where a you going?"

   Clarke turned and saw that Lexa no longer had that blank face, but on the contrary she looked alarmed.

   "Well, you were so pensive, I thought I would leave you alone."

   "Oh. No, I'm just... _exhausted_. And the war hasn't even begun yet."

   Clarke went near her, she wanted to make her feel better, but really, what could she say? Apparently, the answer was 'nothing', because when she got near enough, she just rested her hand on the brunette's shoulder and less than a second later she found herself squeezed in a bone crushing hug, surrounded by long brown hair and iron-like arms.

   "I missed you, Clarke."

   "I missed you too, so much."

 

   _A year later - April_

 

   "A healer! Quick, Heda is injured, we need a healer!"

   Clarke hurried to make room on one of the cots and Gustus helped Lexa to lay down on it. She had an arrow planted in her ribcage, and Clarke felt a knot in her throat. After a better look though, she took a sigh of relief. The arrow had gotten in from a weird angle and hadn't reached anything vital.

   "You're lucky." she said.

   They were at the border with the Rock Line territory. After months of war and meetings and deals, half of the clans were united under the commander's rule. A few were still making troubles, but they wouldn't last long. However Sankru, Azgeda and Rock Line still refused to join the coalition.

   Of course, being the brave, righteous and proud leader that she was, Lexa wasn't just moving the troops from the high of her tower, she was fighting with them. Clarke was proud of her for that. Anya too. But _gods_ , were they worried.

   After Clarke had extracted the arrow and closed the wound, she sighed relieved and wiped the sweat on her forehead. Taking advantage of the rare moment of calm in the medical tent - there weren't many, they were at war after all - she grabbed a wet cloth and started cleaning Lexa's face and body. She was covered in blood, sweat, and dirt. She felt a little better seeing that the red blood was way much more than the black.

   She sighed in relief. _Again_.

   "You sure sigh a lot today."

   She smiled at the strained voice, she put away the cloth and went to sit on the edge of the cot. With her right hand she tucked a rebellious braid back in its place and cupped the girl's cheek. "You had me worried just five minutes ago. I think I get the right to a few sighs, am I right?"

   "You're always right, Little Star."

   "You finally learned that. Good." Clarke caressed the brunette's cheek for a while, just enjoying the closeness. "You're too important to die."

   "I'm not."

   "You are to me."

   "Same goes for you then."

   Clarke sighed dramatically and slowly leaned in, closer to her face, smiling. "Always stealing my words."

   "I don't steal your words, Clarke."

   "Shut up."

   She joined their lips in a sweet kiss, full of promises, of understanding, companionship. Love. None of them noticed the evil smile on the Azgeda spy's face.

   No one noticed her at all.

 

   _February_

 

   "It's been too fast."

   "Fast? Almost two years of war, how is that fast, Lexa?!"

   "I expected them to fight back harder."

   After a few more months of war, Sankru and the Rock Line clans had surrendered and accepted the coalition mark. Only Azgeda still refused, and they were still at war - like always - but after she put on an embargo, they were slowly getting there.

   Could it be that easy?

 

   _April_

 

   Clarke was exhausted. Polis was a big city, the streets were always busy and so was the hospital area. Since she was there, she thought that a little help could be welcomed. And she was right. But now, all she wanted was a long, hot bath and then maybe some night-talk with her commander. Or maybe, she would go to bed and do some day-talk in the morning. Yeah, that was better.

   She was so tired, that it took her a moment to notice that the moon was high in the sky. It had to be really late, she probably had stayed in the hospital too much time.

   She and her guard were walking quietly when suddenly, the sound of hurried steps echoed in the alleys. A moment later, a shadow threw himself on the guard. He killed him, but a second one sliced his throat, then tried to grab Clarke by her clothes.

   After the first shock of being covered in the blood that spurted out of her friend, a dull anger woke her from her daze and she retracted her arm from the man grasp. She unsheathed her own sword and when he attacked, she dodged his strike and fought back. Another man got in the fight, but Clarke had been raised by one of the best generals among the Trikru, she knew what she was doing.

   The first time one of them opened his guard a little too much, she used it and passed under his extended arm, sinking the blade in his stomach until the hilt touched his skin. Then she rotated on herself, positioning behind the other man. She struck, cutting behind his knees to make him fall, then she killed him with one fast slash of her sword.

   Still a little shocked, she started walking towards the tower.

   She didn't notice the other three men sneaking up on her in the shadows.

 

  ///

 

   "What does it mean, ' _Clarke is missing_ '?!"

   "I'm sorry, Heda. We found her guard dead in an alley, it seams they killed three of them before she was captured."

   Lexa started pacing angrily in the throne room, the ambassadors of the eleven clans still in their seats. Anya was innaturally pale, her hands closed in fists so tight the knuckles were turning white.

   Lexa regained some of her control and went to sit back in her throne. "Do we know where the attackers were from? Which clan?"

   "Azgeda."

   "I want an ambassador here as soon as possible."

   "One is already here, Heda."

   "Bring them to me. Now."

 

***

 

   "Why are you here?"

   "Your guard brought me here."

   Lexa clenched her jaw trying to restrain herself from killing him right there and then, and breathed slowly. "You were already in Polis before I sent him to collect you, now answer my question. Why are you here?"

   He just smiled devilishly, advancing slowly in the room. "The Ice Queen has something you want. We know about your affair with the young healer."

   Anya got up so quickly the others in the room almost didn't see her, and strode towards the man. "You better start talking right now, otherwise I will make sure your Ice Bitch doesn't recognize you when I send you back." she growled, her hands already closed in fists, ready to fight.

   "Stand down, Anya!"

   Lexa's voice stopped the general, who slowly unclenched her fists and sat back, glaring at the ambassador.

   "See? She is weak, she united you in an alliance lying to you. She pretend to be strong, but the Ice Queen knows better."

   "Tell me," Lexa said, calm. "Is your queen enjoying my embargo? Because it seems to me," she got up. "that she knows her people won't survive long without the help of the other clans. Looks like she's trying a desperate move to get a desperate response."

   The ambassador just glared at her. "So, you don't even deny it. That you're weak for a girl, that it clouds you judgment, that you aren't unbiased. The girl is Trikru, right?" He turned to the other ambassadors, grinning. "She will favor them! The Trikru. She's not strong enough to do what is needed. You cannot trust her."

   So, this was the Ice Queen plan. Make her appear weak, using Clarke. A pulsing anger raged through her veins, but Lexa didn't let it show.

   _Prove it to them_ , whispered a small voice in her head.

   _Prove it to them. Put him in his place._

   Alright.

   "Please, join me. Let's talk about it in private. I have a message for queen Nia." She motioned to him to precede her on the balcony.

   He did so with a smug smile on his lips, certain that he had won. He got on the balcony and turned to face her. "So, what do you have to sa-"

   Without saying a single word, she kicked him on the chest, throwing him off her tower. Lexa observed satisfied the terrified look in his eyes, and waited until he had reached the ground. She turned toward the other ambassadors, that were staring at her with fearful expressions.

   "Anyone else wants to question my decisions?"

   Anya smirked and Titus stood taller, staring at the ambassadors. All of them shook their heads and lowered their eyes.

   _Well done._

 

***

 

   After having dismissed the ambassadors, Lexa started pacing again.

   "What do we do? Lexa." Anya's voice didn't stop her pacing, but she nodded anyway.

   "No way Nia already has Clarke. She disappeared last night, whoever took her, they can't already be within Azgeda territory, unless they learned how to fly." she reasoned.

   "So we go after them."

   Titus chimed in. "With all due respect, Heda can't leave Polis only to run after a girl. She has responsibility and duties."

   "Did ask for your opinion, Titus? I don't remember doing it." Anya snarled.

   "He's right, Anya."

   She looked at Lexa as if she had grown a second head. "You're joking, right?" She didn't answer. Anya snorted angrily. "You too? I thought you cared about her!"

   "I do care, Anya."

   Lexa huffed and went to sit back on her throne. She needed to find a solution. Quickly. An idea popped up in her mind.

   "Roan. Titus, have him brought to me as soon as possible, I have an idea."

 

   _Nine days later_

 

   "I'm sorry I stabbed you. But, in my defense, I really thought you would have brought me to the Ice Queen."

   Roan grunted, his side still sore. "Maybe I should have."

   "Please. I know you're not as bad as you like to seem."

   "You would be surprised."

   When first Roan had found her, Clarke was sure he was lying when he said Lexa had sent him. She thought he wanted to bring her to Nia to get a reward, and had tried to escape. She had tried to drown him in a small river and then she had stabbed him. Then, one morning, she had made out the outline of Polis in the distance, and had felt kind of guilty.

   After that, they had started talking. She liked him, he was serious but funny. Like Lexa, in a way.

   Finally the elevator stopped and they got out. The guards in front of the throne room's doors announced them and let them in.

 

  ///

 

   "Heda, Prince Roan and Clarke kom Trikru have arrived."

   Anya, who was sitting on the steps near the throne chewing her fingernails, jumped up and, as soon as the two entered the room, she grabbed her daughter and squished her in the tighter hug she's ever given.

 

  ///

 

   Clarke found herself crushed in a hug by her mother, and returned it with equal force. She saw Lexa stand up slowly and advance towards her.

   Anya let go of her and Clarke smiled at her mother in reassurance before turning to face her friend. Lexa stood there awkwardly, not sure of how to greet her, until Clarke just hugged her with everything she had, and the commander melted.

 

  ///

 

   After a brief summary of what had happened, Lexa was even more angry.

   Nia's plan had been to torture Clarke to discover her secrets and then, according to Roan, kill Clarke to bring Lexa in the position to do something stupid.

   She knew it, already. If she declared war to Azgeda - as if it had ever really ended - only because their queen had killed one girl, she would have appeared biased. The other clans would have believed what that ambassador had said. She would have appeared weak.

   That's why she respected her deal with the man and lifted his banishment, allowing him to go home. That's why a month later, she accepted the Ice Nation's surrender.

   She wasn't weak.

 

   _June_

 

   "Lexa, stop it."

   "But-"

   "No buts. We talked about it. Stop blaming yourself for what has happened. That's Nia's fault, and no other's."

   They were in Lexa's quarters, sitting on the couch. The commander still blamed herself for the blonde being kidnapped.

   "I should have been more careful. I should have known it!"

   "Lexa-"

   "No Clarke! You could have died! And it would have been _my_ fault! She wanted _you_ to get to _me_!"

   Seeing her Lexa so agitated and worried was killing her. She scooted nearer and hugged her. Soon, she felt her shirt getting wet from her tears.

   "I can't lose you, Clarke."

   The blonde closed her eyes to will back her own tears when she heard Lexa's voice break. "Same goes for you then."

   The brunette chuckled. "Now who's stealing the words?"

   "But I can, they were mine first." She wiped away her friends tears and cupped her cheeks. "You didn't lose me, Lex."

   "But I could have."

   "I know. But it wasn't your fault."

   The next phrase came in a sweet whisper, so quiet she almost missed it.

   "I don't know what I would do if you should die, Clarke. I love you."

   Clarke smiled. That was the first time either one of them had said it in a not friendly meaning. And _gods_ , did it sound beautiful.

   "I love you too."

   The look in her soft green eyes was something Clarke could never forget.

 

   _Two weeks later_

 

   "Titus, I was thinking about something."

   "Heda?"

   "I think you should train Clarke to be a Flamekeeper."

   " _What?!_ "

   When Lexa just raised an eyebrow at him as if to daring him to question her, the man toned it down. "Heda, may I at least ask why all of a sudden you've decided this?"

   "It's logical. You always say I should bring a Flamekeeper with me when I leave Polis. Plus, she is smart and her loyalty to me is absolute."

   "Heda. You're doing it to protect her. All those things are just excuses. You're letting your feelings for her influence your decisions!"

   "Really, Titus?" she got up from her throne and advanced towards him. "If that was true, I would have declared war to Azgeda the moment I heard their queen had sent those men to kidnap her. If I was influenced by feelings, I would have ran after her myself disregarding my duties. Instead, I stayed here taking care of my people while another saved her. I didn't even try to kill Nia and instead I let the Ice Nation into _my coalition_! I am perfectly capable of separating _feelings_ from _duty!_ "

   The man stood shocked in front of his commander, afraid to speak.

   "My decision to make Clarke a Flamekeeper is logical." she continued. "She is a well trained warrior, and a healer. And I trust her. You know I am right Titus."

   He was quiet. Suddenly, he felt very stupid. The girl had proven herself many times, and yet he was questioning her without reason.

   "Of course Heda. My apologies. I will start the training immediately."

   "Thanks, teacher."

 

  ///

 

   "Seriously Lexa?"

   Clarke stood there in front of the girl with her hands on her hips. Lexa tried to play it cool, lounging on the couch in her chambers. She avoided the blonde's eyes and played dumb.

   "Is something bothering you, Clarke?"

   "Lexa. I know you worry about me and I appreciate it, but this is just ridiculous."

   "I don't know what you're talking about, Clarke."

   "Really? Titus must really like me, then."

   Lexa smiled, sitting straight. "Clarke." she said, making sure to click the k at the end.

   "No."

   "Clarke."

   "Do not ' _Clarke_ ' me, Lexa. You know what you did."

   "Clarke. Please, sit with me."

   The blonde narrowed her eyes at her.

   "Please."

   She huffed and sat down next to her. "Do you know that Titus has literally given me homework? I mean, suddenly he jumped out of a room and told me I was going to be Flamekeeper. I know it was _your_ idea."

   Lexa took her hands and squeezed them slightly. "Clarke, I did it because I want to protect you, it's true. But- No, let me finish." she added when Clarke opened her mouth. She closed it again and Lexa continued. "You're smart, intuitive, observant. You're a good warrior and a healer, that's exactly what I would look for if I were to train a new Flamekeeper. Titus knows it too, that's why he agreed to train you in the end. And the fact that it is almost a holy role among our people, and it would protect you and assure that you're respected is just a bonus. Really, Clarke. Please, believe me."

   The blonde bit her bottom lip pensively. After a while, she huffed and gave her a small smile.

   "Ok, then. Let's go get holy."

 

   _September_

 

   "So it's true. You charged that girl with our sacred role of Flamekeeper."

   "I did, Nia. Do you have an objection?"

   The Ice Queen stood angrily in the midst of the throne room. She had heard about Clarke being flamekeeper and had immediately tried to use it at her advantage. Lexa knew her too well.

   She had to be strong.

   "Actually, yes. I have an objection." Nia turned to face the other ambassadors, that were all looking at her, some of them worried and some intrigued. "Azgeda had warned you all. I sent an ambassador here to tell you that she would favor the Trikru because of her feelings for that girl. She's letting that girl use her! Clarke kom Trikru has gotten our Heda's mind and now she is a flamekeeper non the less. She's using the commander for her own goals, to achieve power, and the commander is letting her! She's weak, and that is the proof that I'm right in this!"

   At those words Titus intervened, waving his hands angrily. "Heda is not weak! And Clarke is not using her, she has been chosen to be a flamekeeper because she was a good subject. I don't have feelings for her but I recognize her valor. So that is not a proof of anything."

   "Titus, stand down." Lexa's voice was calm and authoritative, even if she barely moved her head. Her gaze was fixated on Nia. "Let her make her move."

   The woman grinned evilly. "I demand a vote of no confidence."

   Clarke's and Titus' faces fell at the same time. She couldn't possibly think she would get away with that, could she? Luckily, only six of them voted for the no confidence. The others knew better, they had seen Lexa's strength during the war to unite the clans, and they hadn't forgotten the Azgeda ambassador's little flight yet.

   Since that vote needed to be unanimous to be accepted, it failed. Lexa wasn't surprised. She knew her too well.

   The no confidence wasn't her goal.

   "We both know you really want, Nia. If you think me unfite to command _,_ issue the challenge, and let's get on with it." she said.

   The Queen smirked. "Ok, then. You are challenged."

   This was.

   "And I accept you challenge."

 

  ///

 

   "Lexa you can't be serious. Tell me you're not serious, please."

   Clarke was pacing furiously in the throne room after the meeting had come to an end and the ambassadors had left. She couldn't believe that this was happening again. Not to her.

   "Clarke-"

   "NO! No, you can't do this. Why do you want to do this!?"

   "I have to! Clarke, calm down. Please."

   She got up from her throne and walked toward her. Lexa cupped the blonde's cheeks and looked her in the eyes. "Clarke. I have to do this, please I need you to understand."

   She shook her head. "Lexa, she just wants you to die. She won't even fight, she'll send Roan! Why can't you choose a champion, _every single warrior_ here would be _honored_ to fight for you!"

   Lexa sighed heavily, her shoulders slumping down a little. She let her hands fall to her sides. "I can't Clarke. I am Heda. No one fights for me. That would make me appear weak."

   "I can't just sit there and watch you die!"

   The commander started going back and forth angrily, her hands joined behind her back. "You always want to fix everything for everyone, Clarke, but you can't fix this. This time, please, you have to stay out of it."

   The blonde looked at her with a furious glint in her eyes. "I won't accept it."

 

***

 

   "Hey."

   "Clarke. What are you doing here?"

   "I need to find a way to stop the fight."

   Roan huffed, without stopping to practice with his sword. "I want to help you, I do. But I can't. I need to prepare."

   "Then tell me how to do it."

   He suddenly stopped his movements, staring straight ahead. "There is something. I can't do it, my people would never take me back. But you can."

   "I'm in."

 

***

 

   "Clarke kom Trikru. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

   The Ice Queen was sitting at a long table, eating calmly with an annoying smirk on her face. A girl with black hair and various scars on her face stood quiet against a wall.

   "I came to offer you a deal."

   The woman hummed. "And what do you have to offer?"

   Clarke started getting nearer, keeping her face cold and blank. "You asked for a vote of no confidence. It has to be unanimous to be approved. I can turn the other ambassadors against Lexa."

   At that, the woman put down her food and wiped her hands on a cloth, never averting her gaze. "And why would you want that? I know you and Lexa have this affair going, why should I believe that you want to betray her?"

   _This is it. You can do this. Just lie._

   "As much as I care about her, I care about myself more." Nia raised a brow. "Lexa is strong, but Roan is too. There are great possibilities that she will die in the fight." she had to swallow a lump that had formed in her throat at the thought of Lexa's dead body. "If she dies, I would be next. I really don't want that, so here I am. This is my offer. I turn the ambassadors against Lexa and you let me live."

   _Done. The lie is out there._

_Just please, buy it._

   "Alright, fleimkepa." an evil grin appeared on the woman's lips. "You have your deal."

   Clarke internally sighed. "Then let's make a blood oath."

   She took the knife Roan had given her and made a cut along the palm of her hand. Then she cleaned it on her sleeve where she had applied the poison and planted it on the wooden table. Clarke watched as the queen took it and put it on her hand.

   "Wait!"

   _Oh, shit._

 

  ///

 

   Lexa was thinking about Clarke. Obviously. She knew the girl was worried about her, but how could she not understand? She had to do it.

   She started pacing in her throne room. She was restless. She knew she should be meditating, at the very least, but she wasn't in the mood for that. The moment she went to the balcony to try and relax a little before the fight, she heard voices in the hallway and the door opened. She turned, only to see Titus enter with Clarke right behind. Her face was covered in black.

   "What is this?"

   "Heda, things are worse than we thought."

   "He's right. Nia has this girl, Ontari. She's a nighblood, I think Nia's planning to replace you with her. That way-"

   "She would control the coalition." Lexa interrupted her with a low voice.

   She was even more worried now. The heard them both try to convince her to avoid the fight, but she couldn't. She told them to leave. The door opened and closed behind her back, but only one person had gone out. She sighed.

   "Clarke, please..." A warm hand took her arm and made her turn. She found herself staring into blue pools of love. She lost her breath.

   "Lexa. I'm sorry I-"

   "I know."

   "Don't be mad."

   "I'm not."

   Clarke gulped, biting her bottom lip. "I'm just worried about you. I know you need to do it otherwise they would think you're weak. I understand. It's just, every time it seems that things are getting better, something comes up and mess everything up. And now, you could die today. And I have to say goodbye to you _again_."

   Lexa's heart broke at the sight of her strong Clarke with watery eyes and broken voice. She wanted nothing more than to console her, tell her that everything would be fine. She couldn't.

   "Clarke, look at me." The blonde lifted her gaze. Lexa tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I love you."

   The girl smiled weakly at her words. "I love you too."

   She grabbed Lexa's face and kissed her. The brunette was stunned for a second. Most of their previous kisses had been sweet and gentle, only a few times they would get a little more heated when they would make out on the couch in her chambers. But this was different.

   This was strong, passionate, and almost desperate. Lexa returned it with equal force, tasting it on her tongue, savoring the feeling. Cherishing every second of it, for it could have been the last one, and they knew it. When they parted, both needing air, they had tears in their eyes, but neither of them let them fall.

   "Make sure you return to me." Clarke whispered, her forehead resting against Lexa's.

   The commander nodded.

 

  ///

 

   Lexa stood there, in the arena. The air was cold, a gentle breeze was rising the dust off the ground. She couldn't stop stinking about how similar to her conclave that situation was.

   The same arena, the same ground. The same crowd gathered around it.

   She, waiting to fight.

   Roan was beside her. He didn't want to fight, just like her. Just like her friends at the conclave.

   Lexa focused on her breathing. Suddenly, a movement on her right. She turned to see Clarke standing there, her face clean of the black blood, her eyebrows knitted in a worried expression.

   "I'm glad you came."

   "Me too."

   Lexa reached for her sword, unsheathed it. She heard Titus' voice.

   "Fight!"

   She turned on herself and struck first.

 

  ///

 

   Clarke was worried out of her mind. She saw Lexa, beautiful as always with her warpaint that sharpened her green eyes.

   When Titus said: "Fight!" she saw Lexa turn impossibly fast and strike. Roan released a pained grunt and went to fight back.

   When Clarke saw Lexa hit him again, she felt guilty but hoping. When she saw her disarm her rival, she sighed. When Lexa fell on the ground, she gasped bringing a hand to her mouth, muffling a whimper. When she kicked him and got up, she dared to hope again.

   Then Lexa tripped her enemy and everything seamed to slow down. Queen Nia got up from her seat, staring angrily at her son.

   "Get up!" she roared. "If you die now, you don't die a prince. You die a coward!"

 

  ///

 

   Lexa heard Nia yell at her son that he would die a coward. Something in that made her blood boil.

   _She is the enemy._ A little voice in her head said. _She sent them to kidnap Clarke. She challenged you to get your throne._

   She looked at Roan, lying on the ground. "Let's get this over with."

   _Get it over with. She's the enemy. She's guilty._

   _You're Heda. Make justice._

   "Jus drein jus daun."

   _Do it!_

   She looked up at Nia. The spear flew right into her chest, pinning her back on the chair. The crowd went silent.

   "The queen is dead!" she announced proudly and oddly satisfied. She glanced at Roan.

   "Long live the king!"

 

***

 

   Later that night, Clarke heard a knock on her door. She already knew who it was. In fact, when she opened it, she found Lexa standing on the other side, a slight smirk firm in its place.

   "Is this an 'I told you so'?" she asked.

   "This is a 'thank you'."

   Clarke gave her a little smile and welcomed her in her room. She offered to change her bandage, and did so with great attention. She had risked to lose her today, she wanted to spoil her a little now. After she had asked about Ontari - the girl would now remain in Polis with the other nightbloods - she saw Lexa standing up and quickly grabbed her uninjured hand.

   "Stay. Please, I want you close to me tonight."

   Lexa obviously nodded - she couldn't deny anything to that girl - and the two went to bed. They were tangled in each other arms, breathing in the other scent, when Clarke's raspy voice broke the silence with a whisper.

   "You came back to me."

   "I promised."

   She felt the blonde snuggle closer and she tightened her hold on her. After a while she couldn't hold it back anymore. She had to say it.

   "Clarke?"

   "Mm?"

   "I told you so."

   "Asshole." Clarke let out a small laugh, and Lexa melted.

   "I love you."

   "I love you too."

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I hope you liked it!  
> These chapter are all about building the world in a certain way, so that they will be able to behave like a couple when the skaikru come down. That's why Nia needed to go. Also Titus will be good in this story, just so you know.  
> Feel free to ask for anything you want or you do not wish to see!  
> Thanks for reading!


	4. Timing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are. Last chapter of Little Star.  
> There are probably mistakes, but english is not my first language.  
> Enjoy!

 

   _November_

 

   After the thing with queen Nia, and with Roan on the throne of Azgeda, finally things were getting into place. The coalition was stronger than ever, with Trikru and Azgeda finally on the same side, the other clans were putting aside their rivalries and were starting to work together. Another one was the problem, now.

   The Mountain. Recent reports from Anya informed them that something was wrong with the ones that got captured. While most of them would just never return, some would, they just weren't the same. They were turned into brainless monsters.

   Reapers.

 

   _December_

 

   "Anya, it's good to see you."

   "Lexa. It's been a while. Where's Clarke?"

   She waved her left hand and shrugged. "You know her. She went to help in the hospital. I think she just want to avoid Titus, she's scared he will give her more stuff to study."

   "Typical."

   After they had talked for a while, Lexa brought the chat back on topic.

   "Anya. Tell me everything that's happening with the Mountain."

 

***

 

   Clarke arrived in Lexa's chambers a little late. She had met Anya and spent as much time with her as she could that day. She knew that the woman was going to stay in the city for a while, but still.

   When she entered the commander quarters, she found Lexa on the balcony, lazily undoing her braids. Clarke reached her from behind and hugged her, burying her nose in her neck. A hand stroked gently along her arm.

   "Why are you so pensive, Lexa?"

   The girl sighed deeply, still caressing her arm. "I was thinking about the Reapers."

   "Yeah, ai nomon told me."

   Lexa nodded in response. "Our healers don't know how to help them, Clarke. They just die. Wasn't the Mountain already killing us, they had to do this too?!"

   "Hey." Clarke squeezed gently her mate's waist, resting her chin on the girl's shoulder. "I know you're worried. We just fixed the things with the Ice Nation and the ambassadors, and now this comes out."

   "I know what you're going to say."

   Clarke smiled at the refound playfulness in Lexa's tone. "Oh, really? What?"

   Lexa turned in her arms and sneaked hers around her neck, smiling softly. "That I always worry too much. That I should sleep and think about this in the morning. And that I'm just too good for this world."

   "I'm impressed."

   "I know, right?"

   "It's all true, by the way."

   The brunette shook her head slightly. "It's not." then she leaned in and kissed her.

   Clarke thought that after all this time, she should be used to it. But she wasn't. _Spirit_ , if she wasn't. The moment their lips made contact, a swarm of butterflies started flying around in her stomach. Her skin tingled and her mind went blank. She kissed the girl back, wanting to commit the feeling to her memory, wanting it all.

   A burning desire started building in her body and she moaned.

 

  ///

 

   Lexa heard her moan and suddenly a bell rang in her mind. She pulled back - _unwillingly_ \- and tried to regain her breath.

   "What's wrong?"

   Clarke's voice brought her back to reality and she smiled sweetly at the girl.

   "Nothing. I just- before we... I had wanted to ask you something for a while." Lexa cleared her throat and struggled to find the words to ask what she wanted. She just hoped she would agree.

   Caressing gently the blonde girl's hips with her thumbs, she took a steeling breath. "Clarke, I was thinking... well, you've been spending a lot of time here, lately. And you have some of your stuff here, anyway, sooo..."

   "Yes, Lexa?"

   The brunette swallowed, her mouth dry. "Would you, maybe, move in... here? As in, this room, my room, and it could be, like, our room. I just thought it would be fine, I mean your stuff is here, and you spend here most of the time, so if you want, I would love it to call it our room. But if you don't, then fine, I mean, you don't have to say yes or anything-"

   Two soft fingers went to rest on her lips to stop her rambling, and she was grateful for that. She was going to make a fool out of herself if she didn't stop. When she met Clarke's blue eyes, they were like deep pools of infinite sky, and Lexa thought she could have gotten lost in them and not even regret it.

   "Of course, Lexa. I'd love to."

 

   _The Ark_

 

   "The air system is flawed. The life support system will collapse."

   Abby stared stunned at her husband, her eyes wide and her mouth hanging open. "Are you- are you sure?"

   "Yes."

   The room went dead silent, while them both were thinking frantically about every possible solution. Jake was the first one who talked.

   "We need to warn them Abby."

   " _What?!_ " the woman stood there shocked. "No. Jake you can't. It would cause a panic!"

   "They have the right to know!" the man said, getting up from the metal chair he was sitting on. "They need to know, Abby. We need everyone to try and find a solution, because within months we will die. _All of us!_ "

   "I'll tell the council. I will tell them and we'll start working on this but, Jake, for the love of God, you can't say anything. Not until I have talked to them. Please, Jakob." the woman looked at her husband with fear-filled eyes, her hands gripping his fiercely and slightly trembling.

   "Do you really think they will listen?"

   "I have to try."

 

   _Polis_

 

   "I can't believe it, I'm as cold as an iceberg."

   Clarke heard Lexa laugh behind her and promised herself she would make her laugh like that everyday, even she had to freeze for that. "Not funny."

   "Very funny. By the way, we have a letter from the Boat Clan."

   Lexa approached her with a grin, and flattened the paper on the table in front of her.

   Clarke started reading, and a sweet smile took place on her lips. "Luna is the leader of the Clan? I wasn't expecting it, but I don't know why it seems kinda fitting for her."

   "That's what I thought. She asked if she can send an ambassador to the meetings with the leaders too, I think she doesn't want to come here. Probably because of... what has happened with the conclave."

   Clarke reached for her hand and squeezed. "Probably because Titus would kill her."

   Lexa snorted, hugging her from behind, her arms around her waist. "Yes, that too. Oh, and Costia is finally a healer. She seems happy in the letter."

   "I bet she is, Costia has wanted to be a healer since we were eight."

   The brunette hummed, her nose pressed against her hair, inhaling her scent. She smelled like winter, rain, and something sweet. Lexa couldn't have enough of that scent.

 

   _The Ark_

 

 

   The council chamber was silent, the news of the system flaw still floating in the air.

   "We need to do something." Abby insisted.

   "Like what? Tell everyone and let the panic spread, is that what you want to do, Abby?"

   "Marcus." The deep and calm voice of the chancellor made them all turn to face him. He continued. "Is there something else we can do, Abby? Does Jake know how to fix the problem?"

   She shook her head. "He said it can't be fixed. It's not a simple problem, it's a flaw. There's no way out of this."

   The other counselors looked in each others eyes, the worry evident on their faces.

   They voted. They chose not to say anything.

   Now she had to stop Jake.

 

   _Polis_

 

   Lexa opened the door to her quarters and stepped in.

   The evening air was cold and smelled sweet, and the curtains, hanging from the window left ajar, let a soft breeze penetrate in the chamber. She left her coat on the backrest of a chair and reached the other room, slowly going towards the couch. Before she could reach it, though, she was stopped dead in her track by the most beautiful vision.

   Elegantly sitting on a chair, with her hair down and free from ties, was Clarke. She was lazily sketching something with some charcoal, her right leg swung over the left, humming quietly with a smile on her lips. The light of the moon made her pale skin look like porcelain, while the waves of her blonde locks reflected it like water. She was wearing only a white gown, messily flung over her body, that left exposed her pale shoulders and her long toned legs.

   She was beautiful.

   Lexa found herself staring, mesmerized by that beauty, that grace. She looked like an angel, fallen from the sky. She looked divine.

   Lexa started walking slowly towards her, never averting her gaze. She couldn't. When she got near enough, that goddess looked up at her. It was like all the air had been sucked out of her lungs. Because those eyes were _so big_ , and _so blue_ , and she loved them.

   She loved _her_ , so much.

   Clarke smiled, her eyes shining in the night. She put down the charcoal and extended her hand. Lexa carefully took it, feeling the warmth and the softness of the skin. She brought up her own hand to gently cup the goddess' cheek, bringing their lips together in a languid kiss.

   "Hi." she whispered, ghosting her lips over hers.

   Clarke's smile widened even more. "Hi."

   "Hi." she repeated, closing the gap again, savoring the sweet taste of the blonde's lips against her own. Soon, it wasn't enough anymore.

   The kiss remained languid and gentle, but Lexa wanted _more_. Slowly and carefully, she let her hands slide along the lines of Clarke's slender legs, pressing her body against hers. The blonde bit down on her lip eliciting a low moan from her, making her want even more. With all the gentleness she could muster, Lexa lifted her up, without stopping to kiss her, and started walking towards the bed. She laid her down, carefully, before draping herself over her body.

   "I don't really know what to do." She heard Clarke whisper, and kissed her lovingly.

   "We'll figure it out together. Like always. Ok?" She whispered back, and stared at her in her eyes. Sky blue met forest green, and everything just went into place. Like always.

   "Ok."

 

  ///

 

   Clarke whispered her consent, looking into those bright green eyes, feeling the most sure she had ever felt.

   They figured it out together, indeed.

   Every touch of Lexa's hands on her body was like the caress of the water, every kiss an explosion of fire. It was hot and it was sweet, it was everything. She felt so close to her, so close like their soul were finally touching, like they were one, unique and inseparable. All the time, Clarke felt wanted, loved, desired.

   She felt beautiful.

   When their bodies became one like their souls, it was like everything was on fire, but without getting burned. The intense pleasure of their joined bodies, the waves of heat radiating from them, the little droplets of sweat on their skin. Their first time together was just like their first kiss.

   It was sweet, it was everything they wanted it to be.

   It was perfect.

 

***

 

   A steady heartbeat was slowly lulling her into sleep, but was interrupted when a happy voice broke the silence in the room.

   "What were you doing in only a gown? I thought you said that you were cold."

   "Mhmm. Indeed." Clarke snuggled closer to the warm body pressed against hers and resumed listening to that amazing heartbeat. "I was going to take a bath, but then I saw the city, and the moon, and I just had to draw it."

   She felt a loving kiss being left on her hair, while gentle fingers ran up and down along her spine.

   "Do you want me to run a bath for you?" Lexa asked.

   "Hmm, ok, but you're going in with me."

 

***

 

   Half an hour later they were comfortably immersed in the hot water, Lexa's back against the wall of the tub. Clarke was sitting between her legs, her back pressed into Lexa's front, tiredly washing her hair. The brunette's hand was on her right hip, tracing the thin, intricate lines of her tattoo.

   Clarke let out a content hum, melting in the embrace. A sudden thought popped up in her mind.

   "You know, I'm kinda sorry I made you wait this long."

   Lexa snorted. "Please. For you, I would have waited forever. And it wasn't even that long, anyway."

   " _Three years_ , Lex."

   The girl stayed quiet for a minute, contemplating the thought. At the end, she started grinning like a cat that just captured the mouse. "It was worth the wait, though, wasn't it?"

   At that, Clarke started laughing so hard she was crying, and soon enough, Lexa had joined her in that too.

 

   _The Ark_

 

   Jake found her in their room, sitting quietly on the bed, her gaze fixated somewhere far away. When he entered the room, she lifted her eyes and he could see what she was going to say, already. He knew her too well.

   "They said no, didn't they." he said.

   His wife just shook her head. The tall man started pacing nervously, thinking about what he should have done. The people had the right to know, he was convinced of that, but if he got caught divulging that kind of new, he would have been floated.

   "Jake. Jake, stop please. What are you thinking about?" Abby asked, staring at him with worry in her eyes.

   "They need to know, Abby. We have to tell them."

   "But the council-"

   "Forget the council! They have the right to know, the council should know it. We need to find a solution or else all those people will die and so will we!"

   "If you tell everyone they'll float you!"

   "I have to try!"

   "NO! No," Abby stood in front of him, her cheeks covered in tears, her eyebrow knitted for the effort of maintaining her voice strong. "I can't lose you too, Jake."

   He closed his eyes, willing back his tears. "Abby..." he whispered.

   She interrupted him placing her hands on his chest. "If you die, I'll have lost everything that's ever been important to me. I can't do this again, not after Clarke."

   "But Abby," he said, covering her hands with his own. "this isn't about us, or her. This is about all the people in this ship."

   She nodded. "Exactly, you're right. That's why you can't do this. You're our best engineer, we need _you_ to fix it, and if you're right and it can't be fixed, then we'll need you to find another solution." she grabbed Jake's face and stared at him in the eyes, resisting the urge to avert her gaze. It was hard to look into those eyes without seeing her daughter's ones. "If you die, all those people will have no chance."

   Jake looked at his wife for a second, before lowering her head. Everything was _so wrong_.

   He was already _so tired_.

 

   _Polis - June_

 

   "Ok, so. I'll leave tomorrow to go visit TonDC. Honestly, I miss my nomon and I need to experiment some things with Nyko. Maybe together we can find a way to help the reapers." Clarke made her way towards her love and took her hands in hers.

   Lexa smiled at her raising an eyebrow. "Be careful there. And keep an eye on Anya, I'm pretty sure she will try to take down the Mountain by herself one of these days."

   "Will do." She kissed her soundly, committing the feeling to memory, never wanting to stop.

   If she was being honest, Clarke was a little concerned about her trip to TonDC. That was going to be the first time in ages that she and Lexa were to be apart for more than a week.

   She was 100% sure she was going to break after three days.

   "I'm going to miss you so much, Lex."

   "I know Little Star. Me too. Who will keep my nightmares away?"

   She said it jokingly, but them both were actually worried about that. Neither of them had stopped having nightmares, and they were so used having the other there to help when that happened, that they both knew their nights were going to be tough now, having to spend them alone.

   "I'm sure you'll be ok. You're strong, Lex."

   "Oh yes, I am." she replied, a smug grin appearing on her lips.

   Clarke promptly kissed it away, and passed her fingers over Lexa's collarbone, a seductive glint in her eyes. "How about you say goodbye to me properly, then?"

   Lexa's grin came right back.

 

   _TonDC - Three days later_

 

   "Nomon!"

   Anya heard _that_ voice and turned to face the owner. The first thing she saw was her daughter, hopping down her horse, a wide smile on her face. She immediately went to hug her, not caring about all the people around them, a matching smile stretching her lips.

   "Little Star! I missed you, girl."

   She heard a chuckle, muffled in her shoulder. "I missed you too, nomon."

 

***

 

   Clarke was settled in her mother's hut, quietly unpacking the few things she had brought with her. She heard a movement behind her and a moment later Anya asked:

   "So, how are things in Polis?"

   "Pretty good, actually. The clans are starting to work together, for real this time, and Lexa is doing her job wonderfully, like always. Things are good."

   The woman hummed. "How's Lexa, by the way?"

   Clarke sighed contentedly, a sweet smile gracing her lips. "Good, very good. I think this peace among the clans is giving her some peace of mind, too. She's been almost everyday in a great mood the past few months."

   "Are you sure that's not _your_ doing?" Anya said with a devilish smirk.

   "What do you mean?" Clarke asked, confusion written all over her face. The woman pointed to her exposed neck and collarbone, and Clarke looked down.

   _Oh_ , she thought.

   She had totally forgotten about the hickeys and bite marks on her skin. Lexa had wanted to mark her territory - thing that Clarke didn't like one bit, nope. Who was she kidding? she _loved it!_ \- and now she was only mildly surprised that after three days, they were still clearly visible. She was a little pleased by that, too.

   A sly smirk took place on her lips, making her look even more self-satisfied than before.

   "Yeah, that could be a part of that good mood of hers, too."

 

***

 

   The day after, she was lazily walking around, breathing in the familiar smell of the village, and listening to the little noises so typical of TonDC. Clarke was so lost in her own thoughts, than she didn't notice the running figure in front of her until it collided against her full force. A pair of arms wrapped around her neck and a wild mane of dark brown hair, barely tamed in braids and curls, obscured her sight.

   "Clarke! It's so good to see you again, I missed you!"

   "I missed you too, Costia." when the bone crushing hug came to an end, the blonde disentangled herself from the girl and smiled widely. "How come you're here, I thought you were still within the Boat Clan, with Luna?"

   "Yeah, well, you know me. I need to travel, to move. To have some firm ground under my feet, sometimes."

   "Ah, sure. You just can't stay still."

   "What can I say? I'm a wanderer."

 

   _The Ark_

 

   "I had warned you, we cannot fix it. It's gonna be worse, we need to find another way."

   Jake stood there, in front of the counselors and their round table. After months of pointless tentatives to fix the flaw in the life support system, Jake just had to confirm what he had told them in the first place.

   "The Ark is dying."

 

***

 

   Hours later, he was laying on the bed in their cabin, his hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling. The door opened and his wife entered the room, head down.

   "So?" Jake asked, without moving.

   "Everyone agreed that you're right and we need another solution."

   He pushed himself up so that now he was sitting on the edge of the bed. "What do they want to do, then?"

   He observed as Abby placed her back against the door and took a steeling breath. "Earth." she said. "They'll send a hundred prisoners on heart, to discover if it's habitable. They'll be monitored all the time."

   "What? Are they out of their mind, are _you_ out of _your_ mind Abby?" Jake got up and started going back and forth in the small room. "And then what? What are they planning to do then?"

   Abby sighed, her eyes closed. "If the results are positives, they will bring everyone down on earth."

   He snorted. "Please tell me you didn't agree with this."

   "I did."

   "Is this for Clarke?"

   Abby gulped. "We need a solution and fixing the problem won't work. That's the only way, Jake."

   "But you still hope you will find _Clarke_ down there." he said, his voice soft.

   "Hope, Jake, is everything I've got left right now."

 

   _TonDC_

 

   "Hold him down! Hold him down, quick!"

   Nyko did as she said and held the reaper down, pinning him to the table. The three healers were trying everything to save him, but all of them could see that it wasn't working. The tent filled with agonizing sounds, as the reaper started whimpering as his throat closed.

   "Costia, help me, he needs to lay on the side, he's choking!"

   They turned him and held his head so that he wouldn't choke on the white liquid dripping from his mouth and on the table. They breathed in relief when he stopped whimpering, but the quiet was cut short when the reaper started writhing and quivering, his head snapped back and his eyes rolled back and lost focus.

   "No, no it's happening again!"

   The reaper tensed to the extreme and then went completely rigid. A second later he collapsed on the wooden table and stopped breathing.

   Nyko checked his pulse with two fingers, then lifted his gaze to meet Clarke's sad eyes. He shook his head.

   "Yu gomplei ste odon." Costia said.

   "Ok." Clarke breathed out. "Ok, just... we'll burn him with the others when the pyre is ready. Take him away." She gestured to the warrior standing at the entrance and he followed her order, taking the reaper in his harms with a grunt and carrying him out of the tent. Clarke wiped the sweat on her forehead with the back of her hand and bit her lip.

   She felt a big hand on her shoulder and lifted her head. She met the light blue eyes of her friend. "You did your best, Clarke." Nyko said.

   "Maybe there is no way to heal them." Costia added.

   She shook her head, her expression clearly upset.

   "There has to be."

 

   _The Ark_

 

   Enough was enough, Jake thought.

   It was one thing - bad, but acceptable - to keep people in the dark while _trying to fix the problem_ , but this was something else. And not in a good way.

   Ninety-nine prisoners. Minors, children. Sent down on earth, without letting their families know, without giving them a choice. This was just _wrong_. It was time that he did what he should have done from the very beginning.

   That's why he recorded that message. Now, he just had to publish it.

   Easier said than done.

 

   _TonDC_

 

   "So."

   "So."

   "Come on Costia, I know there's something you want to say, so just say it!" Clarke snapped, playfully.

   Costia just shrugged and smiled. "I was just thinking about something."

   "Make it someone." the blonde smirked.

   She rolled her eyes. "Ok, fine. I was thinking about someone."

   "Finally! Who?" Clarke nudged her shoulder with a smile.

   "Lexa."

   "Woah woah, hey! Hands off my woman, Costia, she's not available."

   The brunette laughed at her evident jealousy, ending up holding her stomach and wiping the tears in her eyes. "Oh, my- You should have seen your face! It was- it was-"

   "Yeah, you laugh now. You better be kidding, girl, 'cause I don't share."

   The girl laughed even more when she saw the menacing look in the blonde eyes. When finally she stopped, she shook her head with a face-splitting smile on her lips. "Relax, Clarke. Lexa's nothing more than a friend for me, even if, I have to admit, she's rather gorgeous."

   "You bet she is. And she's mine, remember that."

   "Yeah, yeah. I remember."

   They fell in a pleasant silence, that they used to breath in the sweet smell of the evening air, so warm and relaxing. They listened to the little noises of the trees, the birds, the wind. At the end, Clarke was the one who broke the silence.

   "So."

   "So."

   "Seriously? Again?"

   Costia let out a chuckle. "Fine, you really want to know?"

   " _Yes!_ " she answered, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

   "Ok. It's Luna."

   For a while it was just silence, so that Costia started worrying. But then...

   "Fucking finally! I _knew_ it!" Clarke said, a wide smile on her face. "About time girl, it took you forever!"

   "Shut up! Not everyone is like you and Lexa, some of us have a life outside the couple."

   "We do have a life!"

   "Uh-huh. Sure."

   "Shut up."

 

   _The Ark_

 

   "Jakob Griffin, you are under arrest. You're charged of treason and attempted release of classified information. Please, follow us."

   The guards took him away before he could actually do anything, and brought him to the council chamber. He was going to get floated, he knew it. They were talking all at the same time, but he wasn't listening. His only thought was his daughter.

   Clarke. He missed her _so much_ , he couldn't bare it anymore. A part of him had died that day, when they had lost her. He knew for Abby it was the same, she could barely look at him in the eyes without wanting to cry. Maybe it was for the best, he thought while the others in the room kept talking. Maybe now, both of them could be free.

   "Jake! Did you hear me?"

   He looked up. His old friend Jaha was staring at him with a weird look in his eyes. Jake shook his head.

   "I said that I'm not floating you. You are too important, if the thing with the prisoners don't work, we'll need you. In the meantime, you're confined in your cabin, a guard will always be with you. Take him away."

   They weren't floating him. He was going to live another day.

   The worst thing was, he wasn't sure he wanted to. The second he formed that thought, he scolded himself. He wasn't going to abandon his wife like that, after everything that had happened.

   He was better than that.

 

   Polis

 

   Lexa was on her balcony, looking at the stars in the sky. They were so bright. Just like Clarke's eyes.

   She missed her. _All the time._

   Lexa sighed and rested her forearms on the railing, sniffing the smell of the air. She knew Clarke loved to do it, especially during spring and summer. She said the smell was stronger, then. A gentle breeze caressed her skin, ruffling her unbraided hair.

   Spirit, she missed her.

   Every day, it was like something was missing. She would start talking in their room, telling her about her day, only to remember that she wasn't there, and that she was talking to an empty room. Every night, she would toss and turn in their bed, only to wake up and find a cold bed. No warm body to keep her still, no golden halo of soft, wavy hair to cover the pillow next to hers.

   She would wake up every morning, missing her good day kiss, and the raspy voice still sleepy against her ear.

   It was torture, it was agony.

   It was what a life without Clarke was like.

   Lexa stared up at the sky. She didn't know how long she had been on that balcony, but the stars were fading and the sun was making his appearance at East. Suddenly, a loud noise, not too different from a thunder, resounded in the air. A thing, something on fire, was coming down from the sky.

   Lexa gasped. She had already seen something like that.

   Almost then years ago.

 

   _The Ark_

 

   "It's time, Jake. We'll do it today."

   Jake looked sadly at his wife, taking her in. She didn't look too fine, he knew she wasn't. She had problems to sleep, the thought of having turned in her own husband and those children going to earth wasn't easy on her. But she was stubborn, and hoping, so she didn't give in.

   He knew Abby had never really stopped thinking that Clarke was alive on earth. She was convinced that they could find her. Jake was unsure. He knew it was highly unlikely that their baby girl was still alive. _He knew it._

   Hope was hard to eradicate, though.

   What would have they given to see her one more time.

 

   _TonDC_

 

   "Clarke. What are you doing out here?"

   Anya's voice shook her out of her reverie, and Clarke looked at her mother. "Nothing, just couldn't sleep."

   The woman sat next to her on the ground, not far from their tent, and mimicked her position stretching her legs in front of her and leaning her weight on her hands. "Stargazing?"

   "Yeah, kind of."

   "Humm."

   The two stayed like that for what felt like hours, just looking at the sky in a comfortable silence.

   "We used to do it a lot, you know? Lexa and I." Clarke said.

   "Yeah, I remember. You would always sneak out to meet her somewhere and go stargazing." Anya answered with a small smile.

   Clarke chuckled. "I thought I was being sneaky. Silent."

   "Oh, you were. But sometimes I just wasn't even asleep yet, when you would go out."

   The both laughed at the memory, observing the light of the stars starting to fade as the night neared its end.

   "I miss her, nomon."

   "I know."

   "I'm not used to the distance anymore. Everything reminds me of her. It's almost unbearable."

   "Hey, hey. It's ok, I get it." Anya put her left arm on her daughter's shoulders and held her tight.

   "I had a nightmare the other night." Clarke started, murmuring. "I woke up, I was crying. I reached out for her like I do every time, and she wasn't there. She's just not there, all the time. I miss her, it's like a part of me is missing."

   "You'll see her soon, Little Star."

   "I know."

   They stood like that, sitting on the ground and looking at the sky. The sun was finally starting to show itself at the horizon, bathing the village in a lazy light. Clarke rested her head on her mother's shoulder sighing contentedly.

   Suddenly, a thunder shook the atmosphere, and something big, something on fire, came down from the sky.

   "What the fuck is that?" Clarke asked.

   Anya snorted at the irony, suddenly worried. "Not a shooting star." She looked at the blonde until she saw the realization filling her light blue eyes.

   "They're coming down."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so. First part - Finished.  
> The next part will be out soon, title: Earth and Sky.  
> For any suggestions, things you want to see, anything, feel free to ask!  
> Hope you enjoyed it!

**Author's Note:**

> Was it bad? Good? Let me know.  
> If you have questions because it was unclear or anything, or requests, feel free to ask.  
> Also i don't know if i will update regularly or not, sorry.


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